Monday, July 10, 2006


Krush Groovin'

The other day I had a hankering for some candy. Some John Candy. While "Uncle Buck" and "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles" are usually the go-to movies to see classic Candy, I reached back a bit deeper into his catalog and decided to watch the underrated "The Great Outdoors." Needless to say, I enjoyed the hell out of it and that was due in no small part to the talent, acting and otherwise, of one Lucy Deakins.

Lucy, you see, is one of my (nearly) forgotten 80's crushes. And based on a quick poll of my nearest and dearest, I wasn't alone in thinking that Ms. Deakins was the bee's knees. So as a service to jog everyone's memory, I put together a list of some 80's crushes that never got the run they deserved. Some may be a bit obscure and some may be a bit obvious, but what can I say? These are the ladies that rocked my jock, for better or worse.

Lucy Deakins
As I previously stated, Lucy played Cammie, the young townie who caught Buck's eye, in "The Great Outdoors." Obviously, she caught my eye as well, and gave me the hope that I might meet my own "Cammie" on the next family vacation. After eighteen years of family vacations, I can report that the only hot lass I ever spent any quality time with was Ms. Pac-Man. Though, I don't think I was the only one filling her coin slot, if you know what I mean. (And I think you do.)


I couldn't find a picture online that did justice to the girl who played Gloria on "Kids Incorporated." So instead, I found this video of her singing a cover of Bruce Springsteen's "Thunder Road." It is very cheesy, and very 80's, but I defy anyone NOT to think that Martika rules the school in this video. "Kids Incorporated" was one of those shows that an 8 year old boy wasn't supposed to want to watch. So I had to act upset whenever my sister would turn it on and keep my crush on Martika a secret. Until now.

Denise Huxtable
We can all agree that Sandra Huxtable wasn't anything to write home about. But Cliff and Claire sure knocked it out of the park with their second born, Denise. Self-confident, a little rebellious, and always the coolest one in the room, Denise was like your buddy's older sister, but hotter. And black. Granted, you may question this crush if you happen to catch an old episode of "The Cosby Show" on TV Land that showcases Lisa Bonet's dated haircuts and fashion choices.. But hey, it was the 80's, cut her a break all ready. And don't forget Lisa Bonet was hot enough to inspire Lenny Kravitz to write his only good song: "It Ain't Over 'Til It's Over."

Andy from "The Goonies"
Let me get this straight; In "The Goonies," Mikey is a nerd who not only gets to hunt for actual treasure but also gets to make out with a girl who is so hot that his older brother has the hots for her. Man, I'd befriend a retard if that was the kind of karma kickback I'd get for it.

Jennifer from "Back To The Future"
It is a shame that this actress never starred in any other movies after "Back to the Future." She wasn't in any other 80's teen movies, no flops, no independents, not even in any B-level Cinemax nudie flicks in an attempt to revive her career, Molly Ringwald style. I realize that Elisabeth Shue portrayed Jennifer in Parts 2 and 3 of this trilogy, and was a hottie in her own right. ("Karate Kid," anyone?) But Claudia Wells, the original Jennifer, is light years beyond Elisabeth Shue when it comes to the looks department. All you need to do is compare the two side by side to see that this issue isn't even up for debate.See what I mean?

Susanna Hoffs of The Bangles
We've all seen the "Walk Like An Egyptian" video, and we all remember the closeup of Susanna's eyes when she scans the room while on stage. Watch it again. Her part is about two minutes into it, if you don't want to bother with the whole thing. But it is worth it. She's hotter than you remember, and the whistling solo is funnier than you remember.

Erin Gray from Silver Spoons
Oh what's up, Mrs. Stratton? I was just seeing if Ricky was home. He's not? How about Mr. Stratton? Hmm, he's gone too. Well I guess I'll be leav- what's that? No, I didn't know you guys just installed an indoor pool. That is pretty cool. Well I would but I don't have a swim suit. You don't have one either? That seems...odd. Yes, I know how to keep a secret. Yes, that does sound like fun...a lot of fun. But can I take a ride on that miniature train first?

The Lubbock Sisters from "Just The Ten Of Us"
Here to round out this list are the daughters from the "Growing Pains" spin-off, "Just The Ten Of Us." If you've never seen the show, the premise was that a Rick Majerus look-a-like had to deal with his three smoking hot daughters, and a nerdy daughter with glasses, attending the all boys school he coached at. Hilarity ensued. There were a a couple more booger eaters in the fam as well, but who really cares about their hijinx? Not me. I was too busy hoping there would be an episode where all the sisters woke up late due to a faulty alarm clock and were forced to take a group shower so that they wouldn't be late for school. Imaginary shower sequences aside, "Just The Ten Of Us" still provided enough PG-rated T 'n A to make it a cherished, albeit short-lived, part of the TGIF lineup.

With all dude respect and appreciation for your list (which is great), you left out the French exchange student girl from 'Better Off Dead' - Diane Franklin. Also played the hottie in Last American Virgin.

A fan site:
andy from the goonies!! spot on the mark!
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