onlydrinkhighlife: Psycho Girlfriend

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Psycho Girlfriend

You are stuck in a relationship with a girlfriend who is a nightmare; none of your friends like her, she doesn't have any friends of her own, and she starts fights for no reason. But you've come to figure out how to handle her and you're used to putting up with her shit, even though you put up with way more of it then anyone should ever have to. You know its not the best relationship in the world, but you don't feel like looking for another girl who could turn out to be even worse than the one you have. It's a relationship of convenience, but at least you know how to deal with it. And, at times, she's not half bad.

Then one day, out of the blue, your girlfriend starts letting you hang out with your buddies without glomming on. She doesn't get jealous when you mention a female co-worker's name. She doesn't interrupt you while you're playing Playstation to ask if you want to join her in watching "Under The Tuscan Sun." Obviously, you become suspicious that she is hiding something. Your girlfriend hasn't been this cool in forever. Actually, she's never been this cool. Something must be up...did she cheat on you, catch a case of the HIV, then pass it on to you? Seriously, what's the catch?

Months go by. She finds porn on your computer and doesn't give you shit about it. She doesn't make you go to her cousin's wedding shower and doesn't make you feel guilty about it. Even your friends begin to mention how your girlfriend isn't so bad to be around anymore. Needless to say, the "new and improved" girlfriend routine goes on longer than you could have ever expected. You're beginning to get used to living like this but you still can't shake the feeling that one of these days your girlfriend is going to break the news that she's pregnant and planning on keeping the baby.

That is what it is like to be a Detroit Tigers fan this year. We can't shake the feeling that the other shoe is going to drop. But the Tigers keep allaying our fears; every time they keep winning a game, a series, or a homestand, that imaginary impending fetus gets smaller and smaller. They have the best record in the majors, for chrissake! It's becoming clear, even to the most skeptical of Tiger fans, that there's a good chance that this isn't a phase, or an aberration. Face it: Your girlfriend finally got tired of acting like a cunt and changed her ways. Hopefully for good.

# posted by JFunk @ 7:54 PM