Friday, January 05, 2007


Monkey Business Pt . 3

I'm approaching the 90 day mark for my new job. My training class has completed the training course and we've been "on the floor" working by ourselves for the past few weeks. The schedule has been tough, with a lot of overtime hours and a long commute. When I get home, I don't do much other than eat and sleep. But the schedule is getting a bit easier now, so I'm hoping I can update this site more frequently in the near future.

So far four people from my class of fifteen have been let go, for various reasons. The one notable firing was administered to a woman I shared my cube with. A customer had called up with a billing issue and needed a resolution on the problem as soon as possible. While researching the account info, and with the customer still on the line, my co-worker decided to inform everyone within earshot that she was "tired of this shit." While I'm sure many of us can appreciate the fact that the daily grind of office work can get even the best of us down after awhile, my boss didn't see it the same way and it is hard to blame him. My co-worker became tired of the shit our job entailed on our third day on the floor. The third day. We don't even have our company email addresses set up yet. How can anyone be tired from anything?

They replaced my exhausted ex-coworker with another girl from my training class.
A lot of the other people in my class called her "LD," short for learning disabled. She's a nice girl, but young and naive...and probably a little slow. She's also hard to understand; she speaks slowly and her letter "L's" aren't pronounced clearly. For example, when says "digital cable" it sounds like "digit-o cay-bow. Don't get me wrong; it isn't a speech impediment, just her ebonic accent. We got along well and we learned from each other. I taught her how to figure out military time (subtract 12 hours from any time that is past noon) and she taught me what comes in an "Incredi-bo Houk" mixed drink (Hennessy and Hypnotiq).

But in the past few weeks, my new co-worker looks like she might be going down the path as my former co-worker. When our manager, who looks like Larry Holmes (pictured above) but female, couldn't confirm what LD's overtime hours would be for the upcoming week, LD came back to our cube and warned me, and everyone around us, that "If she didn't get her full overtime hours (she was) gonna nut up in this motha-fucka'." Thankfully Ms. Holmes straightened the schedule out, and we were all spared the experience of LD "nutting up."

Then, just a few days ago LD entered our cube mad as hell. She had just returned from a disciplinary meeting with Ms. Holmes. I asked what was wrong. Here's what was wrong, in her own words:

"I just got yelled at for usin' my phone while I was on hoad with tech support. Someone snitched on me that I was talking on my celly. I think it was that one lady, cuz I saw her peekin' over here tryin' to be sneaky and shit."

I asked what our manager said to her.

"She said it was a serious offense and against policy. I toad her though that I'm in the middoh of moving and need to get my electricity turned on so I called DTE while I waiting on hoad for tech support for a customer. I go, what do you want me to do? I need electricity and I wasn't talkin' to no one - I was on hoad for work. What, am I supposed to just sit there?

Of course I knew the answer to that question. But I didn't want anyone nutting up on me or anywhere around me, so I just shook my head in agreement as if I couldn't fathom why they would disapprove of her behavior. Then I changed the subject and went back to work.

That pretty much wraps up this installment of Monkey Business, but be on the look out for Part 4. A few of my co-workers are planning on 'pitching a bitch" if they have to work on Martin Luther King Day. So THAT should be fun.

If asked, do you think that LD would say that the knowledge of what goes into "a" "incredi- BO Houk" and knowing how to decipher between military time and the regular 12 hour clock are basically the same level of intelligence? And therefore, your sharing of information puts you both on the same level? Hmmm..?
If I had the chance, I would have brought in a few gallons of chocolate milk on Martin Luther King, Jr Day. And made a mix tape of "rosa parks" to play in the break room. Almost like wearing red, white and blue on the 4th...
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