Saturday, February 10, 2007
Anna Ni-Cold Stiff
I really don't have anything much to add about Anna Nicole Smith dying, except to say that I'm probably a little too pleased with the great play on words I came up with shortly after hearing of her death. It's not very classy, but hey, neither was she.
I have to say I wasn't surprised to hear that she had died. Seriously, who didn't see this coming? I haven't been this "shocked" over a celebrity's death since Kurt Cobain. What I was surprised at was how all the people reacted at my work when they found out. They were acting like it was some huge deal; they were texting their friends, running to the television to find out all the details, "reminiscing" about her show. I hadn't seen so much reaction over a celebrity dying since Gerald Levert died.
Don't know who Gerald Levert is? I didn't either. He was an R&B singer who died back in November, and his death sent shockwaves throughout my training class at work. During the middle of class the guy sitting next to me received a text message from his sister. When he read the message he interrupted our trainer and announced, Walter Cronkite style, that Gerald Levert had just died. I shit you not, the whole class started acting like a family member had passed away. People started texting all their friends to let them know what they had just heard. One girl called her dad to confirm the news, other people just sat in shock.
I was one of those people who were sitting in shock. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I had no idea who Gerald Levert was. At first I thought it was this guy, La Van Hawkins, who used to own a bunch of Burger King and Pizza Hut franchises. But that didn't make much sense. I mean the company I was with when Dave Thomas died sure didn't mourn him like this. So I asked "Cronkite" who exactly Gerald Levert was. Again, he interrupts everyone to "break the news" of my ignorance regarding the deceased.
One guy tells me he figured that I wouldn't know who he was, because it is a "black thing." A couple of them couldn't believe that I didn't know that Gerald Levert was a singer and started asking me questions staccato style:
"You've never heard of Gerald Levert?"
"Ooh, you musta never got it on if you ain't never heard of Gerald Levert. He write all them good love songs. Romantic as hell. You put a Gerald Levert song on, if you don't be careful, you'll get in some trouble."
"Gerald Levert...the son of Eddie Levert. You sure you don't know him?"
"Sweet Lord, you don't know who Eddie Levert is?"
"Don't you remember the duet Gerald and Eddie did?" (The whole class, sans the white people, start singing at this point.)
"How about LSG? You gotta know them."
Finally something they are asking me rings a bell. I tell them, yes, I've heard of LSG, the R&B supergroup. I decided not to mention I didn't know anything they sang. Regardless, my co-workers are relieved that they were finally able to find me a point of reference for Mr. Levert.
"He was the 'L' in LSG!"
"Wow," I say, realizing that if I don't feign emotional investment in this guy dying soon, I might never get my co-workers to stop interrogating me. Or to stop singing R&B songs I've never heard of.
I start shaking my head in disbelief and try show my proper respect: "That's crazy. I can't believe he's gone. I remember LSG being pretty big...I think a couple of my friends had some of their albums. You know, they should really give us a day off for this, so we can cope and just clear our heads."
Cronkite's eyes brighten up when I say this and he gives me a fist pound. "Now you're feelin' us!
Whew, crisis averted. At least know I know how to act when Teddy Pendergrass dies.
I have to say I wasn't surprised to hear that she had died. Seriously, who didn't see this coming? I haven't been this "shocked" over a celebrity's death since Kurt Cobain. What I was surprised at was how all the people reacted at my work when they found out. They were acting like it was some huge deal; they were texting their friends, running to the television to find out all the details, "reminiscing" about her show. I hadn't seen so much reaction over a celebrity dying since Gerald Levert died.
Don't know who Gerald Levert is? I didn't either. He was an R&B singer who died back in November, and his death sent shockwaves throughout my training class at work. During the middle of class the guy sitting next to me received a text message from his sister. When he read the message he interrupted our trainer and announced, Walter Cronkite style, that Gerald Levert had just died. I shit you not, the whole class started acting like a family member had passed away. People started texting all their friends to let them know what they had just heard. One girl called her dad to confirm the news, other people just sat in shock.
I was one of those people who were sitting in shock. I didn't know what the hell was going on. I had no idea who Gerald Levert was. At first I thought it was this guy, La Van Hawkins, who used to own a bunch of Burger King and Pizza Hut franchises. But that didn't make much sense. I mean the company I was with when Dave Thomas died sure didn't mourn him like this. So I asked "Cronkite" who exactly Gerald Levert was. Again, he interrupts everyone to "break the news" of my ignorance regarding the deceased.
One guy tells me he figured that I wouldn't know who he was, because it is a "black thing." A couple of them couldn't believe that I didn't know that Gerald Levert was a singer and started asking me questions staccato style:
"You've never heard of Gerald Levert?"
"Ooh, you musta never got it on if you ain't never heard of Gerald Levert. He write all them good love songs. Romantic as hell. You put a Gerald Levert song on, if you don't be careful, you'll get in some trouble."
"Gerald Levert...the son of Eddie Levert. You sure you don't know him?"
"Sweet Lord, you don't know who Eddie Levert is?"
"Don't you remember the duet Gerald and Eddie did?" (The whole class, sans the white people, start singing at this point.)
"How about LSG? You gotta know them."
Finally something they are asking me rings a bell. I tell them, yes, I've heard of LSG, the R&B supergroup. I decided not to mention I didn't know anything they sang. Regardless, my co-workers are relieved that they were finally able to find me a point of reference for Mr. Levert.
"He was the 'L' in LSG!"
"Wow," I say, realizing that if I don't feign emotional investment in this guy dying soon, I might never get my co-workers to stop interrogating me. Or to stop singing R&B songs I've never heard of.
I start shaking my head in disbelief and try show my proper respect: "That's crazy. I can't believe he's gone. I remember LSG being pretty big...I think a couple of my friends had some of their albums. You know, they should really give us a day off for this, so we can cope and just clear our heads."
Cronkite's eyes brighten up when I say this and he gives me a fist pound. "Now you're feelin' us!
Whew, crisis averted. At least know I know how to act when Teddy Pendergrass dies.
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I'm not sure why everybody cares so much about ANS either. I still don't know who Gerald Levert is. I guess I'll have to Google it...
Sweat and Gill for life. L was holding them back anyways. Now if you excuse me, I have some Z Cavaricci's and Genera shirts I need to dust off. Time to Rub you the right way.
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