Thursday, September 06, 2007
Butthead
Lately I've been watching a lot of old "The Wonder Years" episodes on some weirdo station called 'Ion." The station bascially plays whatever TV Land or Nick at Nite decide not to air. Stuff like "Designing Women" (awful), "Who's The Boss?" (awesome), and "Mama's Family" (aww shit this is the only thing on?). So, pretty hit or miss.
Anyway, the more episodes I watch of "The Wonder Years," the more I cringe at Kevin Arnold's behavior and feel sorry for his friends and family, excluding Wayne. And today I came to a realization: Kevin Arnold is an a-hole. I don't know if I didn't realize it sooner because I was younger and didn't think about it or what, but christ, is he a prick.
It's not so much his immaturity, because we were all like that at one point and can relate to his misguided fears and embarrasments like being seen in public with his parents, or wearing the right clothes, and trying to social climb. It's all the diatribes he goes on, unleashing all his pent up frustrations and egotistical worries to whomever is unlucky enough to be near him at the time. Nothing is ever his fault, and he doesn't care who he takes out his problems on, as long as it makes him feel better.
For example:
- Kevin realizes that Paul is doing better at him in math class, so Kevin forces Paul to play pick-up basketball and precedes to whip his ass and then calls Paul a math nerd.
- Kevin bitches to his math teacher that the teacher wasn't at an after school tutoring session. When the teacher explains he had a medical problem and had to attend an appointment, Kevin responds by writing wiseass answers in on the next exam.
- Kevin ditches a new girlfriend for being to clingy and does it in front of her family while they are all eating dinner. He claims he too young to be tied down and needs to be back on the prowl. Nothing like telling a girl that she's just another notch on the bedpost in front of her father. Classy.
- After Kevin gets caught by the girl he ditched earlier in the night so he could go joyriding with his friends, he gets a little pissy. When he realizes he ruined his chances with the hottie just to hangout with a bunch of dudes who keep farting and mooning people, he goes apeshit on all of them. It's not like they told him to pass up on some possible H.J. action to sit through a night of getting dutch oven-ed.
- Kevin slags on his Mom when she tries to be a little motherly in front of him while working at his school. He pitches a fit after his buddies rip on him for being a mama's boy.
- Kevin befriends a fat kid because he's got the best toys and his mom makes them Rice Krispie treats. The Kevin tries to ditch him after he's had his fill of those underrated snacks and has grown bored with the new toys. When Fat Boy persists, Kevin goes off on him explaining his stalker tendencies are why he doesn't have any other friends to bother.
- Kevin yells at his dad for not rooting hard enough for the star basketball player that Kevin has a man-crush on, then yells at him again when he misperceives that his Dad is trying to rub it in when the team loses. Jack Arnold then sums up Kevin with possibly the most apt line of the whole series: "You're a hard man to please, Kevin."
And yes, I addressed that last sentence to a fictional character from a television show that ended over a decade ago. I make no apologies for that.
