Thursday, October 11, 2007
Fargas!
Tomorrow will close out my first week at my new job, and let me tell you, the difference between the job I have now and the job I had is absolutely astounding. I feel like Elaine from the Bizarro episode of "Seinfeld." The building is strikingly similar, my co-workers, while definitely an improvement over the last bunch, are equally as odd. Things are just different.In my old position I was constantly monitored, and my actions were always calculated to make sure I was hitting certain sales and productivity targets. If, at any point, management deemed that my performance was nearing an unacceptable level, we would get reprimanded. In my new position, there are absolutely no performance reviews, minimal management involvement, and no productivity or sales quotas. I'm the equivalent of the Maytag Repairman (but I never tried to molest Arnold and Dudley in and episode of "Diff'rent Strokes").
The department I work in is much smaller than the one I used to work in. In fact, there are only 5 other people in my department. And all of them are involved in varying degrees in pyramid schemes. How do I know this? Because all of them have asked if I would like to take advantage of a dynamic business opportunity. After politely saying no to each of them multiple times, I agreed to bring home a catalog of their products. The bean bowl shaped like a snowman's head came highly recommended. And at $36.00, who could turn that down? The head is also microwaveable and dishwasher safe. I promised the gaggle of multi-level business owners that I would definitely keep that in mind.
Other than being in the midst of a multitude of entrepreneurs, the job is absolutely great and feels like a vacation compared to my old job. It doesn't look like I'll have as many horror stories as I used to, but that is a small price to pay for keeping my will to live intact.
Also, one of the ladies I work with has a mustache that is so thick that it makes Tom Selleck's mustache look like it belongs to a middle school kid from Westland who is trying to look tough and be able to buy beer without an ID.
Seriously, it would make Freddie Mercury jealous.
