Wednesday, April 11, 2007


And Then We'll Take It Higher

My buddy Luke worked construction one summer during college. Most of the guys he worked with were at least ten years his senior, grizzled, tough, and the epitome of macho. He said at the end of one work day, while all the trucks were in line at the construction yard waiting to be checked back in for the night, someone inexplicably started blasting "Electric Avenue" out of their truck radio, got out of their truck, and started dancing. Then one by one, without saying a word, all the crew members in the rest of the trucks tuned their radio to the same station, jumped out their trucks and started dancing as well. After the song ended everyone got back in their truck like nothing happened. Like a Coors Light commercial without the train and the O'Jay's song. Apparently these soldiers found the same beat that Luke's construction workers found.

I'd like to think I'd be coping the same way if I was stuck over there. Either that or I'm sure I'd be like Vern, the fat kid from "Stand By Me," at the 1:25 to go mark in this video:

Sunday, April 01, 2007


Weekend at Bernie's III: Opening Day

"Bernie Lomax is deader than Kenny Rogers' left arm!"

In this long awaited addition to the "Weekend at Bernie's" canon, nothing can stop Bernie Lomax, a lifelong Detroit Tigers fan, from going to Opening Day...not even death! Due to a strict season ticket policy caused by the sudden demand for Tiger tickets after their miracle season of 2006, the two hard-partying derelicts who've been squatting in Bernie's mansion and reaping the benefits of his riches must now take Bernie downtown to the ballpark to sign for his season tickets in person. Battling through crowded bars, heightened security, and a serious case of rigor mortis, this trio of Tiger fans are deadset on making the game. Catch the action in the stands when Bernie doesn't stand for the national anthem! Watch as Bernie allows his caretakers to thwart the 2 beer max per person sales policy! See what happens when Bernie is featured on the KissCam! You don't have to be a Tigers fan to have a ball watching Bernie and his crew knock this movie out of the park! While the pennant may still be up for grabs, one thing is for sure: Bernie Lomax is deader than ever and back to wreak hijinks on the living.

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