Monday, April 07, 2008
I just read an interesting article about one of my favorite shows, "Deadliest Catch," which begins its new season on 4/15. I love this show. The grind they go through is mesmerizing. These fishermen are haggard as fuck, catching crab in the Bering Sea. It's impossible not to catch one of the millions of marathons that A&E airs of this show. After a while of watching it, you want to start talking like all these gruff guys - using their lingo and terminology. Talking about having a couple of pots on a 24 hour soak, avoiding rogue waves and breaking in greenhornes. But for all the stuff that you pick up while watching, I'm a little embarrassed to say that I still have no fucking idea how the crab actually get caught in the pots. That's not even a joke. I'm just that ignorant. I can't wrap my mind around it. I just assume its magic, because I don't want to work that hard in trying to figure out something that has no real bearing on my life.
That's why I could never do that job. I wouldn't be able to hack it - I'm no where near tough enough for it. I'm just way too lazy. I mean have you ever seen when these guys knock the ice off their boats for HOURS at a time? Fuuuck that. Not my style. I'm the guy who wakes up on a winter morning, sees that my car's windows have ice and snow all over them and just scrape off the bare minimum: one strip on the windshield that is eye level - like a mail slot...and that's it. No side windows, no back windshield. The mirrors? Ignored. Nothing else. I just crank the defrost and go. It's like driving an igloo around town. I can't see shit. You know when people in a movie uses binoculars and they only show the picture through the two eyeholes? That's what I'm seeing when I merge onto the freeway. That's me being a responsible driver. I figure if I drive my car fast enough, all of the snow and ice that I left will just fly off and hit the cars behind me. That way, I don't have to spend extra time cleaning off my car and unnecessarily trampling through snow and the cars behind me get to find out if their windshield wipers still work. It's a win-win.
Recently, a few copycat shows have popped up trying to emulate the "Deadliest Catch's" success. One was called "Ice Road Truckers" and the other "Ax Men." The latter isn't half bad. It's about loggers and lumberjacks in the Pacific Northwest and it features a dude with a claw for hand. You can't really argue with that The former kinda sucked. It's about guys who plow shitty roads of ice. First off, these guys are in heated trucks...not exactly braving the elements like the workers in the other two shows. I mean, they are sitting down for chrissake! Secondly, as NASCAR proves, watching people drive around is boring, no matter how dangerous it may be. Why would anyone want to watch someone else drive around? I drive everyday, where is the entertainment in that? I'd rather watch an hour of people slipping on ice than an hour of people plowing it. Because everyone knows that people falling down unexpectedly is second only to people getting hit in the groin or head by something in terms of being the funniest thing in the world. It's a scientific fact.
In the "Deadliest Catch" article the writer mentions how common bar fights are in the fisherman community. Hmm, capturing rednecks and blue collar workers in various bar brawls in a cross between "The Contender" and "Cops." Did someone just say "hit TV show"?
Recently, a few copycat shows have popped up trying to emulate the "Deadliest Catch's" success. One was called "Ice Road Truckers" and the other "Ax Men." The latter isn't half bad. It's about loggers and lumberjacks in the Pacific Northwest and it features a dude with a claw for hand. You can't really argue with that The former kinda sucked. It's about guys who plow shitty roads of ice. First off, these guys are in heated trucks...not exactly braving the elements like the workers in the other two shows. I mean, they are sitting down for chrissake! Secondly, as NASCAR proves, watching people drive around is boring, no matter how dangerous it may be. Why would anyone want to watch someone else drive around? I drive everyday, where is the entertainment in that? I'd rather watch an hour of people slipping on ice than an hour of people plowing it. Because everyone knows that people falling down unexpectedly is second only to people getting hit in the groin or head by something in terms of being the funniest thing in the world. It's a scientific fact.
In the "Deadliest Catch" article the writer mentions how common bar fights are in the fisherman community. Hmm, capturing rednecks and blue collar workers in various bar brawls in a cross between "The Contender" and "Cops." Did someone just say "hit TV show"?
