Sunday, August 24, 2008

 

Karaoke Kid


This kids knows how to jam. Just when you think he's lost interest, the beat finds him again and he kicks it up a notch. Some people would argue, though, that making your kid listen to so much Foreigner that he memorizes the words to their songs is a form of child abuse. And those people would be correct.

Monday, August 18, 2008

 

Corky McFly

I've always hoped that someday some genius would combine "Back to the Future" - one of my all time favorite movies - with "Life Goes On," which is one of my favorite Sunday night dramas featuring a special needs actor of all time. The dance moves alone are pure gold, but adding a little Enchantment Under the Sea to the mix makes it epic. Enjoy.



Thursday, August 14, 2008

 

All Thumbs

My girlfriend and I recently hit the cinema and caught a couple of the hot summer movies. As a courtesy to all the readers of this website, I've decided to start a movie review feature. I know I can't come close to matching the brevity, simplicity, and fame of Ebert and Roeper (or as my girlfriend, Jessie, calls them: "Eber and Ropert") but I'm going to do my best by keeping each of our reviews to 5 words or less. My hope is that it forces me to be creative while still providing a useful review. I'll provide a quick description of the film and then our review.

The first movie we saw was "The Dark Knight." This movie is the sequel to "Batman Begins" and features Heath Ledger's final fully-completed role.

Our review of "The Dark Knight"

Jessie: "I fell asleep."

JFunk: "I didn't."


Just recently we watched the stoner comedy "Pineapple Express." This movie is another Judd Apatow production and stars Seth Rogen, who also co-wrote the script. It also features Gary Cole. You know he his. He played Mike Brady in the "Brady Bunch" movies. You know, the boss from "Office Space"? Yeah, him.


Our Review of "Pineapple Express"

Jessie: "Didn't fall asleep this time!"

JFunk: "Me neither."



The DVD Pick of the Week is "Zodiac" which recently came out with a special collectors editions DVD and is now playing on Showtime. It is the true story of a serial killer who terrorized the San Francisco for over a decade. It stars Jake Gyllenhaal, who played the boyfriend of Heath Ledger's character in "Brokeback Mountain." That movie featured Ledger's last fully-completed role as a homosexual.

Our Review of "Zodiac"

Jessie: "I think I fell asleep."
JFunk: "You did. I didn't though."

**UPDATE** After finishing this entry, I was pretty happy with our reviews and thought they came off as pretty professional and succinct. I figured they would be perfect for any marketing teams to use in their advertisements for these films. That is until I saw a quote that was pulled from In Touch Magazine's review and featured in the following ad for "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2."

Let's be serious. "Sex and the City" came out two months ago. It's not like there have been a ton of movies released since then that have featured fierce female foursomes. At least not ones that don't have Pee-wee Herman in the audience.

After seeing this, I've decided to add a few well-qualified quotes of my own to the movies that Jessie and I just reviewed, to better our chances of this site being featured in future advertising.

"'The Dark Knight' features the darkest knight since Martin Lawrence! It's funnier too!"

"'Pineapple Express' is the funniest movie with fruit in it's title since 'Fried Green Tomatoes'! And tomatoes are considered a fruit! Look it up!"

"'Zodiac' will have you seeing stars! Stars you haven't seen since 'Bubble Boy,' '13 Going On 30,' and 'Less Than Zero'!"

God, I hope these work.

Saturday, August 09, 2008

 

DJ Dunkin' Donuts

Sometimes you see or hear something and immediately a sense of dread overtakes you because you realize you are helpless in changing or stalling the inevitably bad outcome. Like when a fat friend joins you for lunch but doesn't order anything and says they'll just have some of your fries. Or when a friend tells you that he thinks your sister is cool. Or when you see Todd Jones in the 9th inning. Try as you might to convince yourself otherwise, you're not getting any of those fries, your buddy is going to hook up with your sister, and the Tigers are going to lose the game. And deep down you kniew it was going to happen and you knew you knew it from the beginning.

Unfortunately, I think I just heard a song I'm going to hear a million more times in the next year. With college welcome weeks about to kick off across the country this month, this song will undoubtedly get a ton of play at numerous date rape dens frat houses for weeks and months to come. The song is some white douchebag rapper who sounds like second-rate Eminem on a bunch of Quaaludes. He raps about every party generalization possible so idiot girls and meatheads can relate and feel part of the in crowd. "He raps about beer pong....we play that!"

This nerdlinger raps over a sample of Weezer's "Say It Ain't So." For those of you who have recently came out of a coma, Weezer is like one of the most popular band's for college kids ever. I'm pretty sure the Blue Album is handed out for free, along with the magazine subscription card, at college bookstores. So this song will be instantly recognizable to even the drunkest and/or lamest of co-eds and the rap "flow" is slow enough so that everyone can understand the words and not be confused, which again, appeals to white kids. Frat boys and the girls that get abused by them just looove to sing-a-long to songs with their beers held high.

So without further ado, here is the song, in all of its suckitude. Be careful, it's kinda catchy. You may end up liking it even if you don't want to. After all, how do you think Kid Rock has so many fans? They can't ALL be meth heads. Here is the direct link if the song doesn't pop up below.



Friday, August 01, 2008

 

Drunk History Lesson



This video is great. This guy gets drunk and gives a history lesson to his buddy, who then films a re-enactment of the story. There are a few more of these, but this is the best of the bunch.

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